Friday The 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan

This is like watching "Friday the 13th" done by Showtime in the early '90s when they were trying to compete with HBO. Sure, there are hallmarks of something edgy, but if it isn't done with any care, it won't work. Now Crystal Lake becomes a body of water that connects to the ocean, leading to the Atlantic and down to New York. The story takes place during the Lakeview high school senior trip, even though everyone looks like they’re 30, on a boat headed from Crystal Lake to New York. The way Jason is revived is silly, and the first kills are not interesting. In fact, most of the kills are flat and are mostly boring. Additionally, I never noticed before that they added audio stingers whenever Jason would kill someone. Why did they do that? Anyway, I was actually happy when Jason killed some of these characters, which doesn’t quite feel right. In a good horror movie, one should laugh in nervousness and shock at the mayhem and horror, glad it's not happening to them, but ultimately feel bad that lives were lost in the story. Here, I just didn’t care about any of these characters. The only thing that somewhat elevates this is when they arrive in New York City, allowing us to see parts of Times Square from the late 1980s. Jason kicking a boombox is one of the most hilarious things I've seen on film, and it still makes me laugh to this day. This is a really terrible way to end a franchise, nosediving into the abyss. Even Harry Manfredini's score cannot save it. That’s Paramount’s final "Friday the 13th," which are all now part of horror movie franchise history.

Friday The 13th Part 7: The New Blood

Tina, feeling guilty for being partially responsible for her father’s death and possessing telekinetic powers, awakens Jason from his watery grave. Think "The Rage" over the original "Carrie." It starts with a hokey voiceover describing the terror of Jason and a mini origin story for Tina, then shifts into Jason murdering anyone nearby. This is Kane Hodder’s first of three portrayals of Jason, and while I prefer CJ Graham a little more, Hodder embodies Jason with some memorable kills, often pushing or pulling objects into or through his victims. He even delivers some entertaining turn-down service with a sleeping bag and attacks a swimmer in the water like Jaws, which I found amusing. Terry Kiser appears in a role that I believe was more substantial in a more dramatic cut of the film, but his fate mirrors that of his character in "Weekend at Bernie's." Outside of some of the kill effects, everything here looks and feels a bit cheap. Harry Manfredini and Fred Mollin created the score, but I wasn’t impressed. The electronic elements feel intrusive and clash with Manfredini’s established style. They even use the “Ki-Ki-Ki… Ma-Ma-Ma” a bunch of times in places that seemed off or overdone, which is ridiculous. I would have preferred a "Scanners" versus Jason scenario, which could have been intense and ultimately chaotic. If the original series had ended here, it would have been fine. Unfortunately, they went on to make "FTT8: Jason Takes Canada," with some exterior shots at Times Square.

Friday The 13th Part 6: Jason Lives

This may not be many people’s favorite, but I’ve always enjoyed this entry in the series. It’s not a masterpiece, but without the weight of lore hanging too heavily over it, this installment has a "do whatever we want (also without nudity)" approach to direction and storytelling, making it dark, adult and kind of fun. The premise is simple: Tommy Jarvis messes up, and Jason is revived by bolts of lightning. Jason, on his way back to Crystal Lake, kills everyone in sight... again. Nothing new here- a straightforward story where Jason is back, killing everyone, and Tommy Jarvis is always one step behind, trying to stop the entity that has ruined his life. There are some laugh-out-loud moments due to the uniformly bad (but in a good way) acting, and much of it doesn’t make sense. Tommy gets some closure, but this is really the beginning of Jason’s rise as a horror icon. C.J. Graham does a great job as a "don’t-give-any-fucks" Jason! Director Tom McLoughlin might have wanted to try a few different things, but he was likely told to solidify Jason as the villain and bring him back to Camp Crystal Lake. The cut and edit of this film may reflect some passive-aggressive exasperation that turned inward toward the production itself. For transparency, I purposely avoid trailers, articles, and wiki pages before watching and reviewing films, so my take remains authentic. Afterward, I look at sources like Wikipedia to see what’s happened since the film wrapped, who’s still around, who succeeded or struggled in their careers. As a bonus, Alice Cooper performs three songs in this film, including the end credit song, "He's Back (The Man Behind the Mask)."

Friday The 13th Part 5: A New Beginning

The kills are more intense and sadistic in this installment, but they also feel somewhat wasteful. The movie itself is **. It begins with an older, teenage Tommy Jarvis, who awakens from persistent nightmares about the return of Jason Voorhees while being sent to the Pinehurst Halfway House. The timeframe appears to be around 1989 or 1990. Once again, not a single film in the original series addresses the fact that these events seem to take place 5-9 years ahead of their release dates. This film fully embraces nudity and the '80s drugs cocaine and marijuana which, along with the violence, makes it surprising that it wasn’t heavily censored. While none of this is offensive to me, we were still feeling the effects of knee-jerk reactions from parent and religious groups at the time, so I could easily see this type of project being targeted. There’s a 1950s aesthetic (with the cars, leather jackets, and lighting) that was popular in mid-'80s film and TV (think Streets of Fire). While this style doesn’t detract, it doesn’t add much to the story either. The victims are mostly annoying, especially the local mother-son duo, Ethel and Junior, who live next door to the halfway house. I was actually relieved when Tommy beats up Junior, but Tommy himself is not very likable here, though he does get a bit more to do in his last official entry. The halfway house director Matt, counselor Pam, and Reggie serve as the heroic "good guys," but they aren’t given much to do other than die, get cornered, and fight the murderous villain. Bodies pile up around town and at the halfway house, with either Jason or Tommy as the prime suspect. The effects are fine (but not better than Savini's work) and on my first watch back in 1985, I thought I knew who the killer was, but I missed some very obvious clues. Rewatching it now, I wonder how I didn’t see it! FTT5 is not the "trash" some people make it out to be. Thankfully, FTT6: Jason Lives is a better film and uses elements from classic Universal monster films to turn Jason into a proper villain.

Friday The 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter (1984)

This is supposed to be the final chapter of the Jason Voorhees series. The movie starts with a recap of parts 1 to 3, which honestly feels a bit jumbled at this point. Jason’s mom, Pamela, now dies in 1979, not when the first movie was released 1980, making parts 2 and 3 set around 1984. The timeline is already messy, and this movie actually picks up right where the actions of the third movie ended, instead of the next day. There's a side plot where a man named Rob Dier, whose sister was killed in an earlier movie, is out for revenge on Jason. This could’ve been a stronger story if it was the main focus since it would have added more drama, especially if the outcome had stayed the same. Meanwhile, a group of friends head to Crystal Lake for a getaway and, predictably, end up as Jason’s latest victims. We also meet young Tommy Jarvis, his mother, and sister, who team up with Rob to try to help the teenagers across the road survive. FTT4 is directed by Joseph Zito (Missing in Action), whose style is more workmanlike; he doesn’t linger on any aspect of the film, instead moving quickly through the story and delivering nudity and action-oriented kills. Jason loves windows as a death mechanism in this installment and I do not mean the computer operating system. The real stars are Tom Savini’s special effects for Jason and Jimmy's hilarious "Dead Fuck" dance (played by Crispin Glover). And while this was meant to be the last movie… they actually made a fifth, called "A New Beginning."

Friday The 13th Part 3 (1982)

As I mentioned earlier, things pick up in FTT3D. The movie starts the day after the events of FTT2 (still set in 1985!) and begins with a quick recap of that ending before diving into a new storyline. Actress Amy Steel, who played Ginny Field, didn’t return, which led to a shift in the original story. Initially, Ginny was supposed to face the trauma of Jason's attack and set out to stop him once and for all, wrapping up the series as a trilogy. Instead, FTT3D follows the same general pattern as the first two films, but it takes its time before "Jason" finally shows up to attack and take down most of the cast. Director Steve Miner, returning from FTT2, seems more comfortable blending drama, gore, and a touch of camp in this one. The 3D effects are decent; after a few “coming at you” moments, the 3D effect just becomes part of the film’s atmosphere, which actually works pretty well. This is also the movie where Jason first appears wearing his iconic hockey mask—about an hour in. I wonder if the film has ever been converted to modern digital 3D. I’ve only seen it with the old-school red-and-blue paper glasses during its original run and at home. I was 10 years old when I saw it, paired with The Smurfs and the Magic Flute (1976)! I can’t remember if it was at the Lowes Paradise, RKO, Valentine or the Prospect theater, but it was definitely one I watched in the Bronx.

Friday The 13th Part 2 (1981)

There are two time jumps where the ending of FTT1 is made pointless- two months after the events of FTT1 happen and then the events of this story which actually begin 5 years after that (!) so the film happens in 1985? Anyway, this film doesn’t get much credit for trying to tell a story. It introduces a bunch of new characters, but then a early version of Jason kills most of them. There’s a bit more to the plot, but the producer/director, Steve Miner, who’s directing for the first time here, plays it a bit safe by copying a lot of the same beats from FTT1. Overall, it’s not terrible and a pinch better than FTT1. The highlights, like in FTT1, are Harry Manfredini’s music (which sounds less like Psycho this time around) and the goofy FTT titles that try to jump off the screen but end up looking kinda silly. Some of the characters reappear in FTT3D, I elected to watch it in 2D ☹️.

Friday the 13th (1980)

Here is one of the heavyweights of horror, Jason Voorhees. For now, I’m only covering the original Friday the 13th (FTT1) up to FTT8: Jason Takes Manhattan, which marks the original run of sequels before the franchise changed hands from Paramount Pictures selling the rights to New Line Cinema. This is also the first time I've seen FTT1 since it aired unedited on the old WNEW-TV, Channel 5 Movie Club (now WNYW Fox 5 here in New York) when it was still a local independent channel. This was the first film the "Club" aired, and people complained. As a thank you to those who tried to give the channel and show bad press, they aired Part 2 unedited and then followed up with Parts 1 and 2 back-to-back a few weeks later. The effects for FTT1 were done by some guy named Tom Savini. Never heard of him, so I guess this was his only film credit. Same with this other guy named after a breakfast side dish, Kevin Bacon. He was never to be seen again. :) Anyway, you know what you're getting here- debauchery. Sex, violence, and a backstory that changes faster than a soiled pair of underwear. Is it good? No, it's not. I'm not saying it's terrible; FTT1 is kinda dull, but it does try to be an actual film with a story, decent acting, and structure. But then it spends the middle of the film cycling through dialogue, sex, murder, and more dialogue, all stalling for a pretty decent wrap-up. Like yesterday's Blade 2, it all gets jettisoned in the first 10 minutes of FTT2. Regardless, you know why you're watching this and what you’re getting into. The series picks up after FTT3D.

Blade 2 (2002)

After the success of the first Blade movie, this is actually my favorite of the trilogy. It begins with Luke Goss portraying a de-evolved, "reaper-infected" vampire, and he eliminates about 80% of what Blade would be facing if this were someone else's version of the same story. The film is directed by Guillermo del Toro and is actually one of my favorites. Wesley Snipes is fine as Blade, but behind the scenes, he wasn't so great. Making a film is difficult enough (currently learning this first hand), and with so many other aspects of production needing attention, having the main star act like a child shouldn't be one of the challenges. Anyway, what I enjoyed most was the world-building, the style in which the film is shot and edited, and the martial arts-style action, which, although not the best, is still an improvement over the first movie—as are the special effects. I prefer superhero movies that feel more like comic books rather than just standard action films with lots of noise and a slapped-on ending. This one tries to create lore, a vampire hierarchy, a rich history, and enough characters with presence to make the story engaging and fun. What’s the reward for the viewer in part 3? Nothing, as almost all of this is discarded in the next film, Trinity (2004). The standouts in Blade II are Leonor Varela as the royal vampire Nyssa, Luke Goss as Jared Nomak and of course, Ron Perlman as the wisecracking Reinhardt. Norman Reedus also appears as Scud, a lesser counterpart to Abraham Whistler (played by Kris Kristofferson). One negative that has always bothered me- Whistler is missing for a large portion of the film, and wished he had more to do in the story's outcome.

Kuso (2017)

I showed up late again to the party. Come at me harder bro with the celluloid nastiness!  Lol. Four chaotic vignettes, each obsessed with bodily fluids, mutations and/or arthropods, form a puzzling story. I'm not sure if the movie is trying to gatekeep certain viewers from understanding its message or if it even has a clear message at all. In fact, I don’t know what the message is- or if the creators know either? My interpretation is this: no matter what you believe in, terrible things will happen regardless if it is called upon or not. Life, death, murder, and brief moments of hope will always be there. No one will come to save us once we’ve completely destroyed what exists here. There may be no higher power that will step in to help. And even if such a being did come, we would misunderstand it, crush it, and let it die. Things will keep repeating, and we do not learn. We’ll keep believing in things we can't control. But is there really such a thing as control? Time and nature are real because we can feel them passing. But we can ease our burdens with TV, music, art, and imagination or distract ourselves from the pain in other, maybe worse ways? Personally, I do not prescribe to all these notions but in earnest we have all had moments of doubt, where these things have crept into our minds. Am I way off base or is it in the realm of what this project was about? Somebody help me!

Glitter (2001)

This was REALLY, REALLY, REALLY BAD! If I could find a way to uniformly symbolize a negative number of stars, I’d win the Nobel Peace Prize. Infinitesimal? I added this to my watch list as a joke, but wanted to stop watching at the start. The casting of the young Billie is wrong, and the woman playing her mom looks nothing like her. To make it worse, the mom is named Lillie, so you have Lillie and Billie. Jesus... For reasons, Billie ends up in foster care, where she makes friends. They connect with a record producer for an artist who can’t sing and lip-syncs / dubs others voices. The character Sylk (Padma Lakshmi) is so miscast I thought it was a joke- like someone would step out and say, "We’re kidding, here’s the real movie!" Anyway, Billie (now played by Mariah Carey) meets nightclub producer/DJ "Dice (Max Beesley)," and he’s impressed by her voice, so they start working on material. Did I mention the music in this film is awful too? There are competing characters, all nonsensical, all trying to use or hurt Billie. Despite this, she becomes successful, though of course, at a price. The film builds up to a tragic ending, like a pig wearing a hat. It feels like a film that was ruined by either the star’s ego or movie company suits, who know nothing about filmmaking and then also tries to shove in bad music ("because it's a musical!") in instead of focusing on story, drama, tension, or acting. Carey is a terrible lead, though I think she could do well in smaller roles. I remember hearing buzz before its release that she did a great job- yeah, okay. This movie is an anomaly of bad decisions, bad faith, bad everything. It killed director Vondie Curtis-Hall’s career. He directed one more film after this, Waist Deep (2006), which is a ok "bad" film, before returning to acting and directing TV episodes. Curtis-Hall did make one good movie, 1997’s Gridlock’d with Tupac Shakur and Tim Roth. The only person who came out of this unscathed was Terence Howard, though he didn’t need any help tainting his own career.